Song development: Could Not Swim to the Other Side

This song is a song I wrote for a songwriting class a couple of years ago. My partner really loves the song, but I know it’s needed some work. There’s a scratchier scratch of this on my SoundCloud, and what I’m doing at the moment – with all my newfound know-how – is developing it. So I have it as a project in Logic now, and I’m working on the horizontal arrangement. I’ve taken out the third verse and put in a bridge, but I’m not sure I’m ready to let go of the third verse entirely, so I’m working on three different horizontal arrangements, this one, one where I include the second half of the third verse after the bridge, and one where I include the second half of the third verse after the third chorus… Anyway, in the interest of keeping the blog active I thought I would put up a scratchy scratch (this word is new to me, I won’t always use it this much) of the arrangement in which I just get rid of the third verse entirely. Feel free to let me know what you think, you can find the version with three verses on my SoundCloud